"Miss Amanda, My brain is a little foggy." One of my campers said that to me over the summer and I've been thinking about his saying a lot. Even when trying to put this blog post together my brain has been a bit foggy. I've had to stop regroup and try not to cry. I've been trying to figure out what I want to do with my life and grad school. Hopefully I have finally figured it out. I've been accepted to two great schools and have almost gone to them but I've turned them down. I think I have finally figured it out that I say this because I talked to Scott about graduate school.. Let's start from the beginning.
Since I've moved out I haven't gotten to spend a lot of time with my brother, but tonight I took him out for dinner to Red Robin. If you know my brother he 9 times out of 10 orders chicken tenders (or buffalo chicken tenders) and fries with a cup of ranch. We got to spend some time together and talk about things he has been doing. He told me he made lasagna at his day program. He said he liked it but he only had one piece because he was full. When we called Grandma she asked that if he was cooking Thanksgiving dinner and he said, "no my mom likes to cook more."
After we finished up with Red Robin we went to go get gas. Scott loves to wash the windows. When we were sitting in line I asked Scott if he knew what is graduate school. He asked if it was high school. When I told him it was after going to a university and that I was thinking about going. One thing that would have to happen would be me moving away for a bit.
I asked my brother if he would miss me and he said yes. Which made me tear up. I don't know if he understands or what he is thinking. I told him I loved him and he said yep. We talked about how I would be moving away for a while but how we could face-time, see each other at holidays and keep in contact. This is my second time having this conversation with my brother. I don't know if he understands what i'm saying. I don't know if this will bring our relationship closer or pull us apart.
I'm scared for the unknown but it's another challenge we have to get through. I hope it works out that I get to go. It will only be for two years. We've done this before. We can do it. I guess we will have to wait and see.