Sunday, April 6, 2014

Not everyone will understand.

Here's your warning. You will need some tissues. I know I did. 

Over the years I've come to realize that not everyone will understand. From the time my brother and I were little to now it's gotten easier. We've learned how to deal with it. As a sibling of a person with a disability you want to help them in every way you can but there are some instances that you can't. For me it's hard hearing these stories and not being able to be there for my brother because of the distance. When my mom told me this story my friend and I immediately broke into tears.

Not everyone will understand why your kid screams at the top of his lungs in the middle of the restaurant when he looks old enough to talk. Not everyone will understand why your kid hits himself, flaps his arms or has ticks. Not everyone will understand why it takes him a couple minutes to answer your question, repeats the same thing over a couple of times and not know how to word their sentences.

Not everyone will understand. They just won't. Even if we educate them. They just won't understand. It's a whole different world living with someone with a disability. That they will probably never have a chance to see. That's one important lesson I learned.

When I was younger I used to hate to go out with my brother because his way of communicating was to scream. I remember one time we went out to dinner and my brother started screaming. A lady who was near us said to the person she was with, "Why can't they control their child?" Not knowing my brother had Autism. Not knowing that it was his way of communicating. Scott didn't start speaking until he was 8 and now he talks up a storm.

Scott and I got to go to high school for a couple of years together. I'm so grateful for going to Park View because a lot of the students accepted Scott. One day while I was in lunch I saw him walk by and give someone a high five, say hi and had the biggest smile on his face. He loves to give high fives and make people smile. That's what he's good at. You could have had the worst day ever and Scott would give you a high five and say hi.

This weekend my mom, my sister and brother came to Pennsylvania for our two cousin's baptisms. My brother is not known for crying but when he does he is upset or sad. At this time I could understand why he's upset. In the past two years we have lost our Aunt Barb and our grandpa. It's been a hard time for Scott to comprehend. It's been another hurdle we had to jump over. Not being in this situation before it was a rough one. I think he is starting to realizing that they are no longer with us. My mom had to pull Scott out of church so he could cry and well.. Here's how my mom put it.

My family and I have never been really religious because my brother couldn't sit through a church service.

Sometimes we just need to cry and if I was there with my brother I would have probably cried with him. It's hard seeing all the pictures that they took and not seeing my aunt or my grandpa. I will admit. I can't imagine what is going through Scott's head. It breaks my heart seeing and hearing that he was crying and not really knowing how to put the words into terms that he can understand.

Sometimes people just don't understand & probably never will even if we do educate them.

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