Not everyone will understand.

Here's your warning. You will need some tissues. I know I did. 

Over the years I've come to realize that not everyone will understand. From the time my brother and I were little to now it's gotten easier. We've learned how to deal with it. As a sibling of a person with a disability you want to help them in every way you can but there are some instances that you can't. For me it's hard hearing these stories and not being able to be there for my brother because of the distance. When my mom told me this story my friend and I immediately broke into tears.

Not everyone will understand why your kid screams at the top of his lungs in the middle of the restaurant when he looks old enough to talk. Not everyone will understand why your kid hits himself, flaps his arms or has ticks. Not everyone will understand why it takes him a couple minutes to answer your question, repeats the same thing over a couple of times and not know how to word their sentences.

Not everyone will understand. They just won't. Even if we educate them. They just won't understand. It's a whole different world living with someone with a disability. That they will probably never have a chance to see. That's one important lesson I learned.

When I was younger I used to hate to go out with my brother because his way of communicating was to scream. I remember one time we went out to dinner and my brother started screaming. A lady who was near us said to the person she was with, "Why can't they control their child?" Not knowing my brother had Autism. Not knowing that it was his way of communicating. Scott didn't start speaking until he was 8 and now he talks up a storm.

Scott and I got to go to high school for a couple of years together. I'm so grateful for going to Park View because a lot of the students accepted Scott. One day while I was in lunch I saw him walk by and give someone a high five, say hi and had the biggest smile on his face. He loves to give high fives and make people smile. That's what he's good at. You could have had the worst day ever and Scott would give you a high five and say hi.

This weekend my mom, my sister and brother came to Pennsylvania for our two cousin's baptisms. My brother is not known for crying but when he does he is upset or sad. At this time I could understand why he's upset. In the past two years we have lost our Aunt Barb and our grandpa. It's been a hard time for Scott to comprehend. It's been another hurdle we had to jump over. Not being in this situation before it was a rough one. I think he is starting to realizing that they are no longer with us. My mom had to pull Scott out of church so he could cry and well.. Here's how my mom put it.

My family and I have never been really religious because my brother couldn't sit through a church service.

Sometimes we just need to cry and if I was there with my brother I would have probably cried with him. It's hard seeing all the pictures that they took and not seeing my aunt or my grandpa. I will admit. I can't imagine what is going through Scott's head. It breaks my heart seeing and hearing that he was crying and not really knowing how to put the words into terms that he can understand.

Sometimes people just don't understand & probably never will even if we do educate them.

Doing Big Things In Small Places.

This is your warning that you might need some tissues for this post.

One thing I love doing is telling people my experiences with my brother and how he's really grown from when he used to be a runner to now being so friendly to everyone. I was recently talking to a friend about my brother and how he has Autism. The one thing we said was "I'm sorry." I was really confused on why he would say that. Probably because he doesn't know the experiences we've been through and what life is like living with a person with a disability.

Looking back. A lot of things have happened with my brother. At the beginning I didn't want to go out with him because he would just scream but that would his way of communicating. I never understood why he did the things that he did. I told my friend that it was an experience that I'm really glad that I've had a chance to have. To be honest I don't know who I would be or what I would be doing with my life if I didn't have my little brother. We've been through every thing and every where. I've met so many people who I wouldn't have the chance to if I wasn't involved in Special Olympics and Special Hockey.

I do always wonder what my brother is thinking. How he can know every little detail that you and I can't see. It's amazing. He can even tell you what car is coming from them coming opposite way and in the pitch dark. I do miss those days where my brother was on the bench saying "do not let them score!" It still plays in my mind every time I put on my jersey.

I love hearing my brother over the phone. Whenever I'm having a day just hearing about his day even if he only talks to me for a couple seconds I love it. He always says, "Gotta go. Love you too. Bye." then hands the phone to whoever before I can even say it back.

My friend also asked me what my brother would be doing after high school. That will be a new experience that we will have to see. It's another curve in life that I truly don't have the answer to. Only time will tell what will happen.. Scott keeps telling everyone that he is going to marry a girl named Michelle and have three kids (he has names for them but they keep changing.) and when he's 65 he's going to move to Tampa, Florida near his best friend John. I really hope that one day it will happen.

One experience I think I would have never had without having my brother is being the Delaware Valley Collegiate Hockey Conference (DVCHC) Special Hockey Liaison. What that means is I'm the middle man for the teams and the special hockey teams. It's a great way to get the players out in the community and I'm really excited to get to do this my senior year of college. A lot of the girls are really excited to do it.

Our first Special Hockey/DVCHC partnership will be a meet-n-greet before the Slippery Rock at The Naval Academy. More details will come soon. :) I can't wait to see my Cool Cats if some of them come.

So watch out world, Scott and I are taking it by storm.

Do you have a sibling with autism?

When i was little my parents told me that my younger brother, Scott, had Autism.
Autism? What's that?

Autism is...
-more common in boys than in girls
-limited social skills
-can't make a conversation or even talk.

i could go on and on about what autism is.

As i got older I thought i was the only one who had a sibling that had autism. That nobody understands me. That my parents loved & spent more time than him than my sister & I.
Don't worry everyone goes through that phase.

My mom took my sister and I to a group meeting where we had to speak in front of people about situations that happens with autistic siblings. The other kids asked us questions like what can we do with them? What is it like?
I'm glad my mom did that.
I got to talk to other kids about what it's like and it felt good that i wasn't the only one who had a brother or sister with Autism.
They showed us a video of other kids around the United States who thought the same way.

BUT YOUR NOT ALONE!!

Piece of advice:
-Your parents love you and your siblings equally even though sometimes you might not think so. they do trust me.
-Don't get frustrated with your sibling when you're teaching them something. Be patient.

peace & love
Amanda :)

feel free to ask any question. I'm here to answer them.